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Monday, June 02, 2003
Hey, it's David... writing from the Library of Congress in DC. The Main Reading Room I'm in is beautiful and ornate. Gotta go before I get busted.
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Man I haven't written in this in a long time... probably won't be either.... just checkin in.
Sunday, December 08, 2002
singing the same lines all over again...
An addendum to what I said on loneliness last night, Daniel. I realized today driving to church that loneliness in the midst of crowds is completely not new to me. God bright to mind sophmore year right around now when I struggled with loneliness.. and then went to aacf's winter retreat to lead a small group. We talked about loneliness there. And the loneliness I had felt became a blessing, because I could relate to those in my small group-- all of them feeling very much alone & unsupported, far more than I had known. And we were able to share.. and God brought to me a new understanding of how all suffering we feel, (when we stop being all self-absorbed about it) is a way of us being able to share in the common pain of mankind.
When we are happy & free and things are great, it's much harder for us to be compassionate and feel the cries of those around us. But when we are hurting too, we are distinctly more alert to those around us in the plights much more grusome than our own. I guess today has just been a "same lesson, but deeper" moment.
Friday, December 06, 2002
dude, it's like i'm on fire , or something. ri-vet-ed..
a million realizations that just keep coming and coming.. daniel.. we're the OLDER son!!
in the GIG last night (God Investigative Group) we looked at the passage of the Prodigal son.. and just dialogued about it.. and the part about the older son wasn't on the paper, but it didn't matter.. God was showing me anyway... the younger son seemed to forfeit his rights as son by leaving & being a rejecting loser.. but dude, both sons forfeited their sonship.. it's just that the younger one was bold enough to act on it and have his outer life reflect his inner rejection of the Father who loved him. and the older son.. he rejected the Father too.. he just lived outwardly like "the good son".. but when he said those things to his dad, it revealed that he knew nothing of the position he really had as a son.
and that's the thing.. the story of the prodigal son is actually just proof of the Father's character. no matter what the sons stinkin' do, who the Father is doesn't change one bit. He cares more about the sons being with Him, than He cares about what they do. and they don't have to do anything to be His, the just have to beHis.
i mean, the story was meant for Jesus talking about the Pharisees as the older son.. which seems to be always the category in which we are most prone to falling.. we've been with the Father for such a long time.. since early childhood.. but when we lapse, it is not in outer stuff, because we can seem as though we've been "good kids" all along. but when we reject our "sonship" we miss out on.. dang, on everything He's already given to us...
what is that life? i think that's the elusive "kingdom of God" deal again! the kingdom of God is how those sons would really be living if they accepted & embraced their positions as sons of that loving Father, with all rights, priviledges, and even responsibilities (the suffering your dad told us about on Sunday).. dude, all of it.. it leads to glory...
hey daniel.. just remember the percentages...
if He wills it for you.. 100% chance of having the One..
if not, then you're scuh-rewwwed.. with 0%..
(ok, so vulgar.. but that is not what i got on here to talk about..)
plus, daniel, you taught me the most important lesson on that whole issue.. no girl or guy can ever be the One anyway.. we already got the One. He came to us -- the very image of God -- to walk on this earth as a man, to die, to conquer sin & death, so we could be with Him.. in love.. forever. God's our One, dude. i am convinced of that.
(still not what i got on here to talk about..)
Thursday, December 05, 2002
Sam, yes I've always had a hard time conceiving of paying so much money for anything. The problem is, again, what will the wifey wifey think. Hahah.. you girly girlies always say, well wait for the right one to come along. It only takes one right? Hahah well ... that is if you believe in THE ONE... which is still a mystery of how the one applies to our lives. Anyway, hopefully I'll get away with something that costs less than that price, but if she really wants it, and I am really in love (I'm very easily manipulated) I might try to get that for her...e ven though millions of children are starving. I have one weakness... that is THE ONE. THE ONE is my weakness Sam. THE ONE is the thing I worry about the most. Everything else is set. I guess I gotta trust God on THE ONE. hahah.
Thursday, November 28, 2002
Well now. I did something this morning that was fairly significant.
Last night (well, around four this morning I came to one conclusion after another concerning God's work in our lives. I realized that a lot of times, we suffer in anguish over sins or hurts that only He has the power to heal. Flash to the gospels.. I remembered how people would come to Jesus and He, of course, knew what they needed (even more so than they.) And yet He would ask seemingly innane questions that sounded a lot like, "Well, what would you like me to do for you today?" But see, that got at something, what do we want? I realized that for me, I often spoke about how I wanted to be healed or set free from my brokenness, but when I came before Jesus, I really didn't want that. To say yes to Jesus' healing is to say good-bye to holding onto grudges, guilt, or shame and things that become such a security blanket, even as they are embarrassing for someone who's supposed to be growing up (or "grown up?") Anyway, what ends up happening, is that if the person tells Jesus they really want healing, and believe He can do it, what they need then is His willingness. And as I learned, He is willing. Then He would tell them to do something as an active affirmative, like reaching out to receive His gift.. stretch out your hand, cast out the nets, leave everything & follow.. now, if they accept His gift, they move. To reject Him is as simple as walking away, just as the rich man who was told to sell all his possessions, give to the poor and follow.
So, when I begged for healing from the past and God asked me to go to my parents and confess to them my sin and ask them to join me in my stand for purity, I thought He was CRAZY.. it was a definite NO WAY, don't even go there. Even just the thought of it terrified me. And yet as I wrote and wrote, one logical thought followed another. If I call Jesus my "Lord," that means, what He says goes. And as I hurled all my objections, I realized that I was afraid of condemnation & rejection & letting them down. But I also realized that Jesus was offering for me to come clean & out of hiding from the past, to stop living a facade and let my face see the sun.. And I also saw that the most important Person had already forgiven me. To go to my parents was not to ask for a "final say" of forgiveness, the final say had been given already. This was just to accept that full forgiveness for myself & confidently make my stand on God's side. Does this make any sense. (I am so much more coherent late at night-- yeah, backwards, huh?)
So this morning I told them. I told my mom & dad that I had violated my own vows of purity and that I sought to bring them into the future and into helping me combat future temptation. Oh, it was crazy. In the middle of my confession the phone rang and my mom answered it and talked to someone for a long time. That freaked me out b/c then we were sitting there with my half-spilled confession sitting there.. but it turned out good b/c I got to collect my thoughts a bit and check that yeah, God was still there. His forgiveness was still real.
What does all this mean now? I don't know, but I'm stepping out and trying, guys. Trying this Jesus life thing.. taking strange leaps into the dark, just because He asked me to. His love is all about freaking us out like this, to our great delight & satisfaction. I think that's neat.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
"by His wounds we are healed" -says Peter
i don't think i fully grasp that awesome statement yet. any thoughts?
Monday, November 11, 2002
"You make me wanna lose
You make me wanna lose
You make me wanna lose
my.....
wealth."
In light of that article, Daniel, what do you think about that engagement ring estimate you told me about last night? Is it worth it?
(Good writing. Philosophy made understandable & applicable.. very convicting.)
Saturday, November 09, 2002
The Singer Solution to World Poverty
read that article and tell me what you think.
Hey David,
Lets go dude... China! hahha. I've been to Balboa Park for cold turkey EV with the Navs. There was a lady.. we don't know her name but she trashed us... we call her burger lady because she was eating a burger. About your comment about us being a church. Of course we are a church in a certain sense. Yet in other senses I don't feel like we are a church. Perhaps this is my own feeling, but we have different ministries. You are caring about a lot of people I don't know. I am caring for a different set of people. We aren't deeply involved in each other's lives. We might get to see each other once a week, and sometimes not that much, but the new testament church saw each other every day. Yes we are a church in one sense, but in another I feel like we are definitely too far apart. We seem to have different visions and different callings which is fine. But I don't think our visions and callings are shared. They aren't coming together. There isn't the intimacy. If you were to be hurting on a particular day, there would be no way I could find out. You would have to tell me. Unfortunately we don't see each other often enough to go through every day struggles with each other. Perhaps a church in the wider sense does not need to do that, but the church in the traditional sense of the word definitely does have a sense of sharing struggles. I know we do share big struggles with each other, but not every day struggles. Sometimes we probably feel to far away to share some struggles even though we live in the same city. And its not just about sharing struggles, I think its also about helping each other out with those struggles. We can pray for each other, and thats the most we can probably do. If Sam were having problems with a guy bugging her, I couldn't go up to the guy and tell him to stand down. I couldn't because I don't know most of the people she interacts with. It is a matter of involvement. According to that definition of church, I think also, many local churches are not churches. And THAT is why we wanted to start a church.
Monday, November 04, 2002
Hey guys, sorry to not post earlier about this, but back on Oct 21st i was really wrestling with some stuff with God. He ended up giving me Psalm 96 & then Psalm 102:12-22. I was sure that it went with the year of the Lord's favor stuff...
Then tonight (as many Sunday nights recently) I couldn't go to bed, though flagrantly tired, because I'm just eating up the Word... so many passages from the past jumping out at me.. it's like the most starved sheep giving full room to feed.. and suddenly my eyes fall on this passage, one that has never struck me before at all, but strikes me now..
"As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says,
'In the time of my favor I heard you,
and in the day of salvation I helped you.' I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation." -II Corinthians 6:1-2
I seriously got the chills when reading this verse, and thought I should share it with you. The day of salvation part seemed strange to me, but I think I'm getting another message from that, which goes with some stuff I've been holding back on God about.. things that I'm sure He wants to change in me, but I am too stubborn & prideful to give up and work with Him about.. today when I was being really blah about it all, He reminded me of some lines from a song that keep sloshing through my head, "I got dirty hands,/ I got dirty feet/ From all the things/ I can't repeat./ I talk all the day,/ Of how I want it to be/ But it's my own fault/ That I'm not free." (The Elms) See, He's already set me free, right? So that I'm still walking around in chains is really my deal.. but this is it, today can be the day of salvation..
Honestly, I still don't know how things will turn out.
Friday, October 11, 2002
Hurting people...
It's my impression that many of us are hurting from the past. And at our age, it's most likely from a relationship (with one shaggy friend as an exception). But what should we do? I mean, as a Christian, I'd expect Jesus to free us from the bondage of sin and release us from the hurts of the past, right? Not so easy. But then, facing this reality of the past doesn't have to be something we hide/cover up/ignore while it slowly eats away at our heart.
I say we deal with this like other areas of weaknesses in our lives... by supporting one another and keeping each other accountable. I mean, what do we do when a friend struggles with an addiction like smoking or drinking? We don't just let him be. Last night Sam was filling out her Wycliff apps and read, "Do you have any addictions," straight from the paper. Then we joked that we would write "love" or "hurt from the past because of love." And I see that in our lives, this can be just as damaging as other addictions. So I move that we start a UN sponsored International Emergency Responses Network, called IERN, to rescue love junkies at the height of their depression in a swat team fashion. Or, at least, for us to be there to talk/love/help one another through these tumuluous young adult years.
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
Like it or not, we are a church.
We've dreamed of starting one, and I believe we have started it, if only we open our eyes. The early church wasn't about buildings or pastors or activities. They encouraged and taught one another. Jesus made sure the disciples wouldn't lord it over one another, but what do we do? Hire educated people to do just that. We learn from the business world and run our churches like a company. If we don't like what the pastor says, we fire him. I say in His eyes we may be more of a church at heart than the ones we attend on Sundays. We love one another, share deeply, and encourage one another in our walks through scripture. That's it right there... we are a church the way Jesus intended it to be.
Dude, Daniel, let's go the China. Not only can we be persecuted for righteousness... I can arrange for us to be beaten down for righteousness. :) Just kidding, but somewhat serious in the sense that your time will come. I didn't ask to be persecuted, but I was ready when it came. Plus, I have friends who went to Balboa Park to cold turkey evangelize and were verbally trashed to the point of tears. Persecution is all around us, we just need to step up the the plate is what I think. If you're up for it, we can hit up Balboa together soon, maybe this weekend. It'd be fun dude!
But what you wrote was very encouraging. I definitely desire the same, thanks for rekindling the fire of passion in my heart to hunger and thirst for righteousness. It's easy to forget to thirst for it when I'm already so righteous. Hahaha! :) Anyone who knows me would see I'm just joking.
Tuesday, October 08, 2002
What up all... I was reading the beatitudes in Matthew chapter 5 just now.. and I realized that ever since I was little.. I didn't like the beatitudes. 1. because I didn't know what it meant to mourn. Why would those who cry all the time be blessed? I don't know what it means to be poor in spirit... what the heck does that mean? And all the other stuff.. peacemaker.. hunger and thurst for righteousness... persecuted... I thought... dude I only need to make it for one of them. Then I'll be good. I reread it and now I'm like.. oh dang.. I wantto be all of those things. I am not going to settle for second in my walk with God. I have to seek him with everything. I want it all. I want all that God has to offer. I want every one of those beatitudes to be true about me.... including blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness.
What an honor, to be a member of the prestigious "The Jesus Life" blog. Wow! I still have my personal blog at tawei1.blogspot.com so I don't bore you all with the intricacies (sp?) of my daily life. But yeah... The Year of the Lord's Favor... you've all gotten me so excited about this, ever since I realized it doesn't mean He's going to give me a girlfriend. :) Haha!
Sam, sorry for the inappropriate jokes on the way to Daniel's b-day. Daniel, hope you like your present. This blog will be a great way for us to refine one another in our present situation without the poinancy (sp?) of confrontation. Either I can't spell or I'm choosing strange words these days.
Monday, October 07, 2002
oh and happy birthday daniel!
sensing a theme here..
Isaiah 61- The Year of the LORD 's Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
6 And you will be called priests of the LORD ,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.
7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.
8 "For I, the LORD , love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."
10 I delight greatly in the LORD ;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.
Friday, September 06, 2002
so i've found all this apprehension kick in as i face this wycliffe application. there are forms to fill out, references to give out, essay-type things to work on, readings, and tests.. the phone interview is supposed to assess how i am spiritually and all that.. and i wondered about basic questions people might ask to assess how close one is to God.. and i wonder, how close am i to Jesus? this relationship that is so natural and yet so foreign, that is old & familiar yet confusing & frustrating.. it seems to be the same, but i know it's ever-changing..
but yet, all that business is not really mine to worry about. i am who i am, at where i'm at, and if they don't accept me, then i know it's just not time, it's not right.. there seems to be a big wide world of possibilities, and i am just narrowing down one of them, right?
Sunday, July 14, 2002
hey sam... dunno if you still read this.. but I'm in Hong Kong now and experiencing a lot. Its really interesting life over here. I actually really like it. I'm making friends with hong kong fobs. hahah actually they never got on the boat... hahaha. but yeah its awesome to see God at work in other places in completely different languages. you can read more about what I'm doing at . http://footprints.clanpages.com
Tuesday, June 25, 2002
not just able
Today at Orsil chapel I heard about the feeding of the five thousand again (heard about it last night as well.) Today's slant just really hit home for me. Suddenly, I was a disciple, incredulously walking around with one of those baskets of bread. I could feel my cheeks getting hot, and not just because of the late-day sun, but rather out of that anxious embarassment at trying to pass out food when the masses went on forever around me. And then passing out the bread, and seeing the pile shrinking in direct proportion to my growing anxiety.. and me trying to quell the mess of negative thoughts swirling in my head. and then suddenly i notice what i had stopped noticing as i was internally grumbling & externally going through the motions of giving out bread-- the pile has ceased to diminish. it looks so weird, because i'm walking and picking up bread, but overall the bread level is not clearing so that i can see the bottom of the basket.. and i'm almost in a trance now, everything seems slowed around me as i am witnessing the miracle.. and i've given to hundreds of people now.. what the...? and i kind of turn back to look at Jesus, and He's far away, but He sees me too, and it's that moment, like the one I had that other time, and somehow I hear Him speaking to my heart, and i turn around and go back to giving out the bread.
and with each piece of bread i take out of that basket, as i give it to another person, i hear the word, "I am willing." over and over, bread after bread, "I am willing, I am willing, I am willing, I am willing, I am willing...." and He's using me too..
Since they say that many situations are just a matter of perspective, here is what Piper said to a bunch of missionaries regarding risk for God's glory:
"They can only kill you."
And yeah really, what is the worst thing that people can do to you?
Friday, June 21, 2002
So I don't really know who all is following this site, but I wanted to do a real welcome to say that if anyone really wants to live out theJesusLife and post their thoughts, falls, elations, etc.. just email me. Assuming you're legit in your desire, I'll put you on. This wasn't meant to be a private posting place for Daniel & me.
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
"has been pleased"
my reading yesterday came from luke 12:13-53.. and i found it so stunningly appropriate to my life and my lately-realizings of my true views of money. as i am trying to move into this supporting myself phase of life, i have become quite quite worried about it all the time. and Jesus says to not do that. the words about God caring more for birds & lillies was so much more meaningful to me this time around. but even better was this remarkable tidbit i found. it was another one of those "i must have seen it before b/c i've read this passage a gazillion times, but i think i have just now *seen* it" moments. it actually comes right before the verse daniel quoted below, it is vs. 32 "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom." the entire passage seems to be about trust. do we really trust Him? and it returns to my question before, not about His capability for providing, but His desire.
if i had been with Jesus i would have broke down crying because He hit it right on the head. this verse hit on my key insecurity. does the Father really *want* to provide everything for me? isn't He tired of it? i am mucking around trying to scrap up pennies for myself, when He owns everything.. but does He want to give it to me? and this sentence, not referring just to money but to true wealth, a legacy of all His riches-- a family title, all that is involved with the acceptance of the one Perfect Father to His imperfect children.
this whole experiment has got me limping, not off and running. i am a slow learner with much distance to go. but as a book i read to priscilla yesterday says, to be wise i've got to listen and listen well.
Monday, June 17, 2002
Luke 12:33 "Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys."
read this article ppl. The Singer Sollution to World Poverty.
NDESTRUKT X: i don't usually get avid about those ideals
NDESTRUKT X: because it's all just utopia
NDESTRUKT X: i dont' have a problem of donating money and time
NDESTRUKT X: but i don't make a huge deal of telling everyone to do it
NDESTRUKT X: cuz out of 100 peopel you tell to do it
NDESTRUKT X: only probably 20 or less will really wanna
NDESTRUKT X: sad sad
dude I'm telling you guys.. if 20 ppl do it? Dang that would be crazy school. I would tell a ton more ppl to do it. The problem is, I don't know if I could. If I had 200 bucks would it go to the poor? I seriously doubt that. I'd buy a game cube or guitar amp or something with it. I very seriously doubt it will go to the poor. I'm thinking about this a lot since I'm going to HK. Well catch ya all later. Tomorrow I'm going to STP summer training program with navs for 2 weeks. after that I'm going on a family vacation.. and then HK missions trip. I'll be back august 12th. good luck all. I won't be seeing you any time soon! hahah pray for me!
Thursday, June 06, 2002
on earth as it is in heaven
yesterday i was thinking again about the phrase "on earth as it is in heaven." i had read somewhere once that all too often we flip it around and expect God to act in heaven as it is on earth. i have been catching a lot of that wrong-way thinking lately... i muck something up and ask aloud, "Lord, if i ask You to forgive me right now, would You *really* do it, no questions asked? would You believe me, even beyond my honest realizations that i will probably mess up again, even unintentially?" and i find myself not really believing that He really forgives without having that sour aftertaste or begrudging hurt.. and see, i think that, because i know myself and figure that if someone repeatedly hurt me over and over like i hurt Him, i would feel skeptical & suspicious & desiring to buffer myself from further hurt because... thus is human nature. but God isn't bound by human nature. Jesus, even as a man, was not bound by His humanity in that way.
but i find it hard to accept just as i have learned to never believe that something that sounds too good to be true would actually be so.. and haven't we learned that well? freebies always have a catch and so here we wait for the "catch"... that is certainly part of the reason why God's free gift is so neglected by the general public. all "street smart" people know that you just can't trust something that sounds unrealistically good. and by realistic that means tracking with all we've experienced in our lives.. which is pain, and rejection, and being taken advantage of, or used or manipulated... even by those we love tremendously, or who we know love us.
and so it is difficult to jump our own logic into the realm of faith in something truly unseen. we may see glimpses of kindness reminiscent of God, but it is only as a reflection, as I Corin says... someday we shall see Goodness face to face. the question is: will we believe now in the Hoped for and enjoy the riches of obedience in the present age? or just bow compulsoraly with all of creation at the end because what is true remains true?
and from hebrews 11, (if i recall correctly) "faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see..."
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
the jesus life church
daniel, mary ann gave me an idea. you know how we were talking about the jesus life type church lifestyle? and all that stuff about friends versus just co-workers? why don't we try it next fall? at least once, we could invite a bunch of our friends and experiment one sunday on a jesus life service. we could go out somewhere and put out picnic blankets and learn together... i picture it kinda like the mt. solidad worship time we had on easter, except with the addition of a clause where everyone is to bring something.. a verse, a song, to either share with others or lead us all in.. am i making any sense? i think it would be fantabulous... really stretch our imagination & our hearts and freak us out in little ways b/c we'd enjoy it, and yet feel something in us thinking "this can't be 'church'.. it's too unconventional." what says you?
Monday, June 03, 2002
This is my prayer letter for my missions trip to HK
Dear Everyone,
How are you doing? I hope everything is going well. God has been teaching me a lot about his heart for the world outside of San Diego. I have always wanted to live my entire life here in San Diego. San Diego is the best place in the world is it not? I went to Europe and saw that the world is actually a much bigger place than the myopia of San Diego. God has been showing me that although San Diego may be the best place in the world, the best place is not necessarily where God wants me to be. I completely identified with the rich young man in Matthew 19. He held on too tightly to his riches and missed out on the kingdom of God. Many college students go on a short-term mission trip but I have never been interested in doing that. Somehow God has changed my heart during this past year. I began to pray for opportunities for this summer. This opportunity presented itself as a short-term missions trip with OMF International in Hong Kong.
While in Hong Kong, I will be teaching English to Chinese students and interacting with them through games and sports. It is a six week missions project from July 8th to August 12th. We will have opportunities to share our testimony and work with a local church.
Prayer is important and there may be a lot of spiritual warfare. It would be great if you could pray for me regularly while I am in Hong Kong. Pray that I would be constantly seeking God through his word. Pray that I would learn God’s compassion and mad love for his people. Pray also that I would be humble and open to what God would want to teach me. Pray that I will enjoy a good relationship with my teammates and team leaders. Pray that God would be glorified in Hong Kong this summer.
Of course there is the financial support portion of this letter. I need to raise $2,850 to cover the cost of this trip. If you feel burdened to help me out financially, please make checks payable to “OMF International” and write “Serve Asia-Daniel Lowe” in the memo line. You will be sent a tax-deductible receipt from OMF, and donations are non-returnable. Send to: OMF International, Attn: Rudolf Mak, 1605 Elizabeth Street, Pasadena, CA 91104.
I will keep you guys posted on what happens in Hong Kong. Let me know how I can pray for you too!
Thanks for reading!
Daniel
Sunday, June 02, 2002
Hahaha the disciples were freaken out alright. Do ya know why? hahah cuz of the Jesus life. hahaha.
Ever wonder what non christians think when we say "God lives through me?" I would imagine they would chalk it up to Christian jargon, which is true. They understand the word God. They understand that that gives it religious implications. They don't understand religion. They understand the word lives. They understand the word through and they understand the word me. They kinda get a vague conception if what those words mean together. But really, they don't actually know what we mean. Even if we explain it to them, they may kinda understand it, but not really. When they become a christian, then is when they fully begin to appreciate what that means.
Thats the way I think we approach the bible. Some of the phrases like , "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up" we understand the words, we kinda get a sense of what the statement means. Humble, opposite of proud. Okay basically don't be proud. It is good not to be proud. But we don't really understand the fullness and true meaning behind those words until we see it lived out. The bible is totally like that. There are so many concepts in the gospels about the way that jesus lived, they aren't taught in church. We don't understand the meanings of the words, we gloss over them and don't realize how totally radical those words are.
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
in a frenzy about feeding
No wonder the disciples were freaking out. Feeding all those people. Dang it, I can't even figure out catering for a Sunday lunch at church for only 100 people. God's logic is not like man's logic. But then again, God isn't restricted by things like cost or time or distance or strength. See for me the question is not whether or not God can do something, it is whether or not He wants to. And isn't there a difference between willingness & wanting? He may be willing to do something, but would He want to? I'm sure I don't know Him well enough to know and ask with confidence. What goes on in God's mind?
Saturday, May 25, 2002
but is He willing? and am i?
my Jesus moment was from Luke 11:14-36.. i felt pretty confused and not at all focused.. there was this mute demon, cryptic talk about demons in a heart that was like a cleaned house, the sign of jonah, and the lamp of the body talk... it just seemed so choppy.. like someone just trying to take down all these random conversations He had with a bunch of random people all at one time...
the one thing that really struck me from this passage was this interjection when a woman called out from the crowd, "blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you." and He actually gives her the time of day by responding, "blessed rather are those who hear the word of God an obey it." slam. i don't know why He has always seemed so harsh & cold to me.. i always had the sense that someone took a chance to say something and He just shot it down with His strange prophetic words. and yet, it was a clue.. we're on the right path.. obedience..
as for me, my day was strange... i felt shaky, like i had too much sugar and not enough sleep.. hyper and not-focused.. mind spinning a lot. i'm exhausted now. feeling the daunting task of tomorrow with all it's activities & the flurry of people i will encounter to be overwhelming to think about.
there is a difference, though. subtle, but constant, all day.. a new something.. do you sense it too? something in the air i was breathing, almost.. a peace.. a curiousness.. a hope, almost. i think it was that i didn't feel condemned to a fate of never changing, of staying in my rut forever.. i've always known that He is strong enough to save, but have always wanted to know, "is He willing?" and for once i knew the answer was, "yes." and it's been a captivating experience.
tonight ended up not being the quiet night i expected b/c when i came home i found that my sister was home. after all our patchy trying to catch up i tried to explain to her this.. this.. i don't know, i tried to explain to her about living the Jesus life.. she gave me a smile i couldn't immediately place.. "it sounds so cliche" and it did. and i realized that i couldn't explain it. there were no new words.. just a new what is it? i am at such a loss to express..
but one of her best friends from school accepted Christ tonight.... ah the rejoicing!!! the hope, the future... paralleled.. on that path of great adventure.. i suppose i should write more when i'm more lucid. perhaps all this cloudy thought is good.. there is no capability for boasting... everything is still yet so confusing.. i am still left hanging, wondering, waiting, breath held, anticipatory waiting.. wanting.. till tomorrow.. er today? how goes it on your side, daniel?
Friday, May 24, 2002
at least a "try"
so, about peter. i used to think that guy was such an IDIOT!! then i came around and realized, yes he was an idiot, and i am strikingly like that man. today when i was trying out my "art" at church my mind was flooded by the questions again.. "does this glorify God?" "does Jesus approve?" "is this really beneficial for the body or may i alienate and hurt members that i don't want to hurt?" all sorts of things.. and see, trying to live the Jesus life is like this, i think. it is that *not knowing* that is a big characteristic difference between that and living just a "christian life" where you are always trying to fit into social norms. (following that, i think i would take down my "art"..) but yeah, so i got to thinking about peter again. and man, that guy was hit and miss. but see, that's actually the cool thing about him.. at least he was "try".. rather than brain freeze... he took chances, tried to live the Jesus life, messed up, was corrected, tried again... and he received forgiveness, encouragement, second chances.. even a Call.
people have said i think too much. i don't think thinking is all that bad, but it get's overrated when there is no action. when i use it as an excuse to keep me from taking a stand or just hopping off the fence to "try".. perhaps try leads to fail, but don't i fail when i don't move at all?
Well I woke up this morning...morning hangover? Dunno. I read in Luke 6:20-26 the blessings and woes section. Read it for yourself. Which group of people do I identify with? Yes I identify with the rich the ones who are well fed the ones who laugh and the ones where people speak well of me. That is disturbing. In James 4:9 it says grieve mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. . Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up. How can I do that? How can I humble myself? Something in my life isn't right if I'm living pretty comfortably with more luxuries than I need. Where is God calling? Where can I step out in faith out of my comfort and wealth? I dunno.
inspired ---> off & running
it's funny how a conversation can crack open a link to a whole train of thoughts that you thought were independent of each other.. I corin 4.. scum of the earth, refuse of the world... you are worried about many things.. but only one thing is needed... only one thing is needed... one thing... kingdom of God... what is that?... what if we really walked it.. what would happen? for the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power... yeah.. rawk & ride... taking Him at His word... letting that Pursuit chill you to the bones with how real it is... how real He is.. dang, we're dealing with the real real thing here.. freaky deaky.. ok, so daniel, we're holding each other accountable to this. i'm so curious how this will go. and i set this up to track the process.. falls and all.. the jesus life... let's go.
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